What Is A Kitchen Tea? Answered 

Do you know what is a kitchen tea? A kitchen tea is a pre-wedding celebration similar to a bridal shower, typically attended only by the women in the bride's life.

group of friends preparing food in a kitchen - what is a kitchen tea
A kitchen tea is traditionally held at the bride or her mother's home

A kitchen tea is a pre-wedding celebration where women who are friends with or related to the bride gather together. It is traditionally held at the bride or her mother's home, usually to play games, eat food, and propose a toast for the bride-to-be.

A kitchen tea is traditionally associated with guests bringing the bride a gift for the kitchen to assist her in setting up her marital kitchen. However, many brides have lived away from home or may even be living with their future partners.

Thus, they may already have all the necessary items for their home, particularly in their kitchen. 

So, instead of emphasizing gift-giving, the focus of a kitchen tea in this scenario is more about celebrating with loved ones and playing some fun games.

Can You Have A Kitchen Tea And A Hen's Night?

a couple of men and women enjoying themselves in a party
The decision is entirely up to the bride if she chooses both, neither, or just one

A bride may choose to have both, neither, or just one – the decision is entirely up to her.

Some brides hold both a kitchen tea and a hen's night on the same day or weekend. Older relatives or friends of the bride who don't want to go out in the evening may prefer to attend the kitchen tea, and guests who can't make it to both events can choose which one suits them.

You might also be interested in our Victorian tea party guide.

Alternatives To A Kitchen Tea

Since the celebration is similar, a bridal shower can be an alternative to a kitchen tea. Kitchen teas are typically more focused on assisting the bride in setting up her marital kitchen.

In contrast, a bridal shower's origin pertains to “showering” the bride with gifts for her entire home and gifts for the bride herself.

Many brides create a gift registry for their bridal shower to provide their guests with some gift suggestions. They can also choose to have either celebration or have both plus a hen's night.

What Games And Activities Can You Have At A Kitchen Tea?

Although the games at a kitchen tea are less raunchy than those at a hen's night, some are very similar. A popular game played at a kitchen tea party is asking guests questions about her childhood, her likes, dislikes, etc., to see how well they know the bride.

Another popular game is to ask each guest to write some words of wisdom or marriage advice on a sticky note – these notes are then collected for the bride to keep and read through.

Games at a kitchen tea can also be a little more hands-on – you can break your guests off into small groups and have each group adorn a chosen guest in a makeshift wedding dress made from rolls of toilet paper or garbage bags.

Adult versions of children's games work well at a kitchen tea; consider the game “pass the parcel” with elegant wrapping, and the rewards range from lip gloss to potato peelers, a journal or planner, or even a recipe book.

Kitchen Tea Ideas

Start Your Kitchen Tea Planning Early

The best advice is to start planning as soon as possible! Although it may not look like it, planning a kitchen tea party is a significant undertaking. Every task, no matter how big or small, accumulates. 

Catch Up With The Bride

Before you start planning anything, it's always a good idea to have a conversation with your bride to make sure you're both on the same page. At your catch up, it is essential to get an idea of the following:

  • The type of celebration she's after: Before planning a kitchen tea party, you have to ensure that it is what she wants! 
  • The date for the kitchen tea: Once you're sure it's a kitchen tea party she wants, it's time to work out a date! It's best to let your bride decide the day and time that works well for her.  
  • The people she wants to invite: A Kitchen Tea is traditionally reserved for female friends and family members, but nowadays, there's no reason why close male friends and family members can't attend as well. It's best to let your bride write out a guest list for the kitchen tea party so that everyone she wants to share this special day with has the opportunity to attend!

Set A Budget

Now that you've got a few ideas, it's time to set a budget. Unlike hen's night, guests at a kitchen tea or bridal shower are not required to contribute financially to the party. So, yes, the host is paying for everything.

You don't want to overextend yourself financially. If the bridesmaids and family members are helping to host the event, then the expenses can be split.

Kitchen Tea Theme Ideas

a florist making design in the table
Floral-themed kitchen tea is also a good idea to organize

Many modern brides give their kitchen tea party a theme, organize it in a non-traditional setting such as a park, or even hire a venue depending on the number of guests they invite. Here are a few creative kitchen tea theme ideas:

Cooking Queen

If your bride loves to cook, you could host a kitchen tea party with cooking and food as its theme. You can even ask your guests to bring their favorite recipes! Take it a step further and schedule a group cooking class and various kitchen-related games for the day.

Floral Affair

Host a floral-themed kitchen tea — invite guests to wear something floral or perhaps color the bride likes. You can fill the area with fresh flower bouquets and even have flower crowns prepared for guests to wear, which you can hand them as they arrive.

“Mad Hatter” Tea Party

You can also organize a kitchen tea party in your garden with the theme “Alice in Wonderland's Mad Hatter Tea Party.” Set up a long table with various classic high tea foods, including scones with jam and cream, and play with the theme by putting mismatched crockery and tea sets! 

Picnic Party

A kitchen tea is traditionally held in a home, but modern brides are deciding to have one in any location that suits them. A picnic at a local park – or simply in the bride's backyard – could be an excellent outdoor kitchen tea idea.

Ask your guests to bring a dish or a bottle of wine. You can spread out dozens of picnic blankets on the lawn and share and enjoy cheese, fruit, and wine. You can take a step further and arrange an outdoor theatre to show a movie to your guests.

Scenic Celebration

Enjoy the scenery while you and your guests enjoy some delicious food and drinks to celebrate your upcoming nuptials on a rooftop or a place with a lovely view.

You might also enjoy our guide on the Best Bubble Tea Party Ideas.


  • Danico Dacillo became a fan of coffee when he was in college 'cause it helps him stay awake. He holds a bachelor's degree in electrical engineering, but now working as a content writer. His passion for writing started when he was still in grade school -- as a sports news writer.